i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
