So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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