I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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