I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize