new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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