Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
