You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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