I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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