well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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