I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
