I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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