i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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