its not stalking. its research.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
