Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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