I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize