remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
