Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
