What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
