ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
