The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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