I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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