so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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