I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize