You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
