Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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