Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No more Irish car bombs ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
