I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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