i think my mom watched the whole time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?