Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(331): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm

Replies (13) Good night (5759) Bad night (1501)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".

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(720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost". http://tfl.nu/8ltm

Replies (39) Good night (8224) Bad night (821)
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(519): View more from Ontario

So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.

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(519): So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok. http://tfl.nu/j1n1

Replies (7) Good night (5371) Bad night (1008)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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(240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51

Replies (98) Good night (28196) Bad night (2163)
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(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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(626): she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo http://tfl.nu/loae

Replies (18) Good night (10244) Bad night (1589)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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(203): but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room http://tfl.nu/z6gy

Replies (5) Good night (817) Bad night (3346)
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(360): View more from Washington

i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

(1-360): View more from Washington

oh. my. god. yes.

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(360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd

Replies (14) Good night (6038) Bad night (1627)
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(786): View more from Florida

It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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(786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn

Replies (11) Good night (2145) Bad night (856)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.

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(303): I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us. http://tfl.nu/59u4

Replies (10) Good night (1939) Bad night (623)
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(457): View more from

Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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(457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv

Replies (8) Good night (1374) Bad night (614)
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(850): View more from Florida

Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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(850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq

Replies (6) Good night (1503) Bad night (636)
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(480): View more from Arizona

It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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(480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7

Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (340)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?

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(780): So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over? http://tfl.nu/dz02

Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (406)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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(612): I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys http://tfl.nu/2gbb

Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (325)
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(585): View more from New York

I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito

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(585): I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito http://tfl.nu/77vh

Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (264)

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