Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
