Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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  (814): Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me. (1-814): I hope you walked the shit out of that shame. http://tfl.nu/1vn7
  Replies (15) Good night (822) Bad night (2119)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6651) Bad night (879)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it

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  (210): i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it http://tfl.nu/c88z
  Replies (26) Good night (3408) Bad night (816)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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  (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants. http://tfl.nu/sn5l
  Replies (45) Good night (23243) Bad night (1257)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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  (703): I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup. http://tfl.nu/a2al
  Replies (13) Good night (620) Bad night (3340)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.

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  (817): Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there. http://tfl.nu/ie6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2827) Bad night (1975)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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  (206): Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive. http://tfl.nu/785o
  Replies (8) Good night (4531) Bad night (914)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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  (937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy
  Replies (29) Good night (1193) Bad night (6488)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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  (863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw
  Replies (21) Good night (818) Bad night (1501)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!

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  (765): Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you! http://tfl.nu/2ivd
  Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (516)
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  (692): View more from

  I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger

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  (692): I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger http://tfl.nu/6k76
  Replies (1) Good night (925) Bad night (358)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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  (479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1443)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

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  (309): Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment. (1-309): I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college. http://tfl.nu/zbsh
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (498)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...

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  (301): I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened... http://tfl.nu/z902
  Replies (6) Good night (649) Bad night (311)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?

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  (416): Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best? http://tfl.nu/9x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (214)

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