Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4761) Bad night (672)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?

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  (770): I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward? http://tfl.nu/lg8a
  Replies (50) Good night (718) Bad night (5934)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4599) Bad night (804)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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  (315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3222) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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  (978): ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have http://tfl.nu/u3xa
  Replies (17) Good night (1222) Bad night (6011)
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  (914): View more from New York

  What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?

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  (914): What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"? http://tfl.nu/mnqg
  Replies (13) Good night (1148) Bad night (5007)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3723) Bad night (995)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (933) Bad night (1418)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...

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  (503): Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out... http://tfl.nu/v7xz
  Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (592)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.

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  (303): Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth. http://tfl.nu/h368
  Replies (11) Good night (2729) Bad night (523)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Heroically.

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  (262): Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night? (505): Heroically. http://tfl.nu/ycud
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (363)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (325)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr

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  (570): I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr http://tfl.nu/s0ny
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (292)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking

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  (803): I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking http://tfl.nu/lfqo
  Replies (2) Good night (254) Bad night (349)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party

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  (810): Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party http://tfl.nu/a9ld
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (162)

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