You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize