I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
