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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

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• (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.

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• (831): View more from California

  my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.

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