would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.