I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
