My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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