addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
