Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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