at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Im part way to drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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