I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
