they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
