Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like, not good at living.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize