I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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