Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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