Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
