you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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