none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
