Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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