I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
operation harelip BJ is a go
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
