yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Two words: nipple clamps
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