Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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