you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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