What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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