I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
