Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
