So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
