just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
