Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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