And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
