Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wanna go halves on a baby?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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