i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
