Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I FOUND THE LEGS
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Holy shit dude........stairs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
