Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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