Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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