Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize