how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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