Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize