Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i think im in europe. pls send help
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
