I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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