Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
