This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
