The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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